I am so upset that the tesion is manifesting itself physically, amking my arms, hands, foot ache. It was just a peculiarly crappy night at this shitty job, combined with the headache I woke up with, loud pulsating noise coming from several speakers, and all the usual shit... And I have no outlet for it. Being snippy to coworkers helped not very much at all.
The last thing I wanted to do is come back home to my crowded messy room, full of piles of things I haven't done yet, covered in posters I thought were cool hen I was twelve, and stinking not-so-faintly of cat piss.
But my options are limited, so here I am. (The one person I called was in the shower, and just called me back. I could go over there now, but I don't even want to drive this upset, and I'm "home" already..) This does not bode well for the prospect
of socializing tomorrow night. I may have to find something not-too-hard to beat on, or do a lot of screaming or something ... (refer back to "no outlet" above)
And of course my clothes are soaked in sweat, from the warmth of the afternoon, and all the tension and excitement. Whee.
After writing this, and slogging backwardsly through all of your posts yesterday, I feel a little better. It's slipped from the surface back into the depths of psyche. This is a goo thing and a bad thing. Goo now, since it means I may be able to sleep. Bad because it means I'm storing it, and I will have to try very hard to resist slaying the next anything which provokes me.
My bet is on some low-class barbarian whose conveyance is outfitted with ew and psyops equipment of the sort which gives me a pounding headache just by idling within three carlengths. It would be so cathartic to pull him from his carriage and pound until the sound effects go from *thud* and *crackle* to *squish* and *plop*.