nil.enroll(aetheric_username, quantum_class_id) (adric) wrote,
nil.enroll(aetheric_username, quantum_class_id)

Mail call

Dear Microsoft,

I am writing in regards to your MSN 8 promotional campaign ("Butterflies"). As an avid follower of the computer business and a network user of many years, I find interest in the epic struggles amongst the Internet service providers, and have in particular enjoyed the unlikely squaring off between Microsoft and AOL (Time Warner). I do believe that your marketing lacks a certain something that AOL has captured, and I hope by alerting you to this, you will be able to more readily compete with AOL for it's customer base.

In the mail today, our household received a package of MSN 8 software. It came in a shiny DVD jewel box with attractive graphics. While I thank you for your gift of the DVD jewel box, and the coaster it contained, I think this highlights where you are lagging behind AOL (TW). AOL sent out similar mailings at least one year ago, to great success, but has since moved on. They spent millions of dollars on marketing research to find out how to better appeal to their target demographic.
Using the results of this research, AOL developed a much more popular delivery system for their coasters that has been better received by both their users and the technical community. I refer, of course, to the "tobacco" tins.

In their efforts to compete with you, AOL's researchers discovered that the only people likely to use their service in lieu of broadband are either dangerous social deviants, or prodigious "tobacco" smokers. Having recognized this fact, they embraced it, and developed their award winning "tobacco" tin promotion, which appeals to both demographic groups in their target audience.

Now that you have the facts before you, I am sure your market researchers and product development team can leverage this critical fact (ie "Only chronic "tobacco" smokers would use your product") to assist you in your battle with AOL for the supremacy of the ("tobacco" smoking) population of the Internet.

Thanks again for the jewel box, and g'luck in your struggles.

ADM Jonas. P. Farnsworth, USN, Ret., (Dec), Mrs.

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