From: arya	Date: November 17th, 2001 07:14 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Odd.

This past week I went to New Orleans, where I saw both my first crush, and the person who ended up being my first love (instead of the first crush). It has been about five years since I had seen either of them.

It was a bit unsettling, but ended up being good for me. I also had the added bonus of having *planned* those encounters. I think the event might have had a much different impact on you, had you been prepared.

Don't let it get to you. You are a great guy.

From: nanbear	Date: November 17th, 2001 08:37 pm (UTC)		(Link)
Accomplished?

As your students and Bonnie about what you've accomplished. Ask your friends what you've succeeded in doing for them. If everyone you meet, touch or greet gets even one tenth of the support you've given me, that in itself is something you should be damned proud of.

A person's success is not measured in posessions. Money. Job. House. Kids. Car.

It's measured in their actions. Yours are quite excellant, my friend. You have nothing to feel down about.

	From: pinkeffigy	Date: November 18th, 2001 10:02 pm (UTC)		(Link)
	yeah yeah

I feel your pain. I understand. Seems like everyone I know that is actually worth a damn is having the hardest time with getting on with whatever they want to do in life, and in my case its hard to figure it out to start with.
The only conclusions I have at this point is that just because you are good at it doesn't mean you should be doing it. We all know how hard you try, and that is quite inspiring in and of itself. I beat up on myself on a fairly regular basis over what is going on in my life. I wonder all the time why I can't seem to get it together like everyone else. And I look at the remarkably average and less than average people that I know who seem to just win wihtout trying at all or giving any effort whatsoever. For crying out loud, a guy I know with a GED that drank a lot and smoked pot a lot, that married his pregnant girlfriend is building a very large 2-story brick house less than a mile from my parents. It happens all around me, all the time. I don't even know if I'll still be living here next month. If you want to talk, I'm here. I think you are ok. you are not a bad person, but you have had some shit happen to you in various forms. And when you are in a down spot its hard to dig your way out. I know that better than anyone. You are a good person. Take a deep breath. You just need to get yourself together. So do I. I wish I could tell you how, but I can't. The downfall of American education for the Gifted is that it teaches you how to be good at learning stuff while otherwise goofing off and little else.
Adric you are smart, you are a decent person, even a good person. You are gonna be ok. Perhaps you should reconsider your career direction.