cat >> fix_economy.rb && ruby -w fix_economy.rb
investment_banks.find_all do |bank| bank.has_requested_federal_bailout_money?
bank.ceo.set_salary($FEDERAL_MINIMUM_WAGE_SALARY)
unless bank.ceo.already_in_prison? or bank.ceo.dead?
FBI.investigate(bank)
FBI.investigate(bank.ceo)
end
while Congress.dads_wallet_open?
set_price(:unleaded_gasoline, 2.00)
ship_goods_to(:gas, :here)
sack(:Congress)
end
appraisers.find_all do |liar| liars.committed_fraud?
FBI.investigate(liar)
end
mortgage_holders.find_all do |signer| signer.lied?
signer.get_home.foreclose!
signer.moves_in_with(:mom)
end
government = executive_branch + legislative_branch
government.each do |officeholder|
sack(officeholder)
end
p 'Problem solved. Please return to economic and political norms.'
