September 28th, 2008

Books

Politics, in Ruby again

cat >> fix_economy.rb && ruby -w fix_economy.rb

investment_banks.find_all do |bank| bank.has_requested_federal_bailout_money?
  bank.ceo.set_salary($FEDERAL_MINIMUM_WAGE_SALARY) 
    unless bank.ceo.already_in_prison? or bank.ceo.dead?
  FBI.investigate(bank)
  FBI.investigate(bank.ceo)
end

while Congress.dads_wallet_open?
  set_price(:unleaded_gasoline, 2.00)
  ship_goods_to(:gas, :here)
  sack(:Congress)
end

appraisers.find_all do |liar| liars.committed_fraud?
  FBI.investigate(liar)
end

mortgage_holders.find_all do |signer| signer.lied?
  signer.get_home.foreclose!
  signer.moves_in_with(:mom)
end

government = executive_branch + legislative_branch
government.each do |officeholder|
  sack(officeholder)
end

p 'Problem solved. Please return to economic and political norms.'