August 16th, 2005


I fscking hate drugs.

> You need to get your meds refilled. Going off of them suddenly can cause
> bad things to happen, like psychotic breaks and mood swings. Call your
> doctor now. I'm on Prozac and Wellbutrin myself. Don't make me come to
> your place of business!


Leaving aside that am generally against drugs, but have been trying
this at her insistence .. let's see. Of the two SSRIs the Doc and the
NP had in mind, one (Lexapro) didn't do anything at all, (somewhere in
the midst of the lexapro, the doc added a mood-stabilizer Risperdal)
so in the second month, she gave me the other (Cymbalta) newer one as
samples along with the stomac meds (samples). I ran though the samples
of both and life sucked some less, so in 2 weeks I went back and she
gave me more samples of stomach meds and cymbalta as well as a scrip
for both.

The Risperdol ran out and three days later I was out of samples of the
other two (Bet was not home that weekend). I went without drugs at all
for a couple days and had a really rough time of it. I got the stomach
meds filled and started taking those and things have gotten a little
bit better (Still feel like I've just been punched in the gut most of
the time). I went to get the Cymbalta filled, at Bet's suggestion,
only to find out that it's not covered by the BCBS plan work pays for
and that it'd be 127.00 a bottle.

So I'm on flintstones and the stomach meds for the month. Reminds
me I need to update my boss on the latest nonsense. Update: He's reading this post now, done.

The Bet recommended course of action is to call the doc's office and
tell them I need them to change the perscription. Change to what I
don't know, and I don't have the time off to go out there. (I'm down
to 1.5 days for the rest of the year, in part because of going to see
the doc so much, and the rest is directly her fault.)

The only evidence I have had that any of the psychoactive drugs is
doing anything is how much worse things got when I dropped off the
second one. Although everyone now insists I was 'doing better' when I
was on them, I could tell no difference .. and no one mentioned it
then. The stomach meds seem to help with a problem I must have
developed in the last six months of working at this cult.

I fscking hate drugs.

Exercise: I was doing some last weekend before the withdrawal hit, none since.
Caffiene(sp): I'm back on it, trying to moderate my intake and keep it before 1800.
Stomach: Before coming to work here I had my metabolic fsckups where
I would get all tangled up and make myself sick. It happened not even every
couple months. The week that I went back the doc and missed some work
I was on day three staight of it with no cause behind it.