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nil.enroll(aetheric_username, quantum_class_id) - The HOA president emerges
yljatlhQo'! QIch lo'laltbebej!
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The HOA president emerges
ETA: He responded, though I won't paste it in here without some less-simple edits, and it developed into a pretty interesting thread. It remains to be seen if we will be able to relate.

Hi [first],

Do you seriously not have anything better to do with your time than write formal ,stilted, and aggravating 500 word email about the trash cans?

I'll check on the trash when I get home and let the cat sitter know as well.

If email was warranted on this, a simple "Hey, did you forget to pull your trashcan back this week?" would have sufficed. Since I did forget, I appreciate the reminder, if not the format or tone.

Since we're discussing such matters please be more careful sticking your business cards on windshields. They stick to windshields when damped by dew or rain. If you really must I am sure you can get a pad of thin paper designed for just that.

Your notion of welcome is sorely lacking, but thanks for the intent.

v/r
[first name]

On 09/19/2012 10:51 AM, [some guy] wrote:
>
> Dear Neighbor:
>
> You or your renter have violated the trash standards. Cans must be brought in as of Monday evening and can be put out as early as Thursday morning. Trash day here as you recall is Friday.
>
> Any other schedule you or they have in mind is a security risk to the rest of us.
>
> If you or your renter didn’t orient the can the right way (hinge facing back), the trash robot arm can’t pick it up, and will therefore be skipped; one can of three problems were this issue this week. This is just an attention to detail item. If you are in units 4166 or 4168, your cans were loaded with loose trash (not completely bagged), another violation. Many times Advanced Disposal will take them, but it is still an HOA violation. Dirty cans attract insects, rodents, and other animals that can introduce health risks.
>
>
> The trash hauler comes twice on Friday, once early (7:00a on average) for the recycling, and anywhere from 1030a to 2pm for the regular trash. If you put it out after these times it will not be collected, and leaving the can out for a week is NOT an option. The next issue of the HOA newsletter will reiterate some of these rules. As a member, you’re responsible to know and adhere to the rules and make sure your renters if you have any adhere to them, too. They’ve signed something in the lease that says they will. If they haven’t, then you’re liable for not doing so, and that’s potentially a HUGE fine.
>
> We can only enforce the rules with YOU the owner, and it’s up to you to maintain a solid relationship with your tenants if you have them.
>
> If you are out during the trash period (out of town on business, etc), you can coordinate with your neighbor (left, right, across) to take out your cans (empty or not) and bring them in for you. Then you reciprocate. It builds relationships in the neighborhood, and is free. I do this regularly for my neighbors, even when they’re here.
>
> I urge you to follow the trash rules, otherwise an escalating fine will be assessed to your unit’s HOA account as a sanction against further violations.
>
> Please contact me if you have questions, this will be your only warning before direct action is taken.
>
> [fist last]
> President, [street] HOA
> [phone]
>
>
>
> PS: Welcome to the neighborhood! Since you’re new, you probably don’t have a grasp of things just yet. I can send you a complete list of the “rules” if you’d like, and the newsletter will detail them, it comes out every quarter or so. [initials]

Current Mood: aggravated aggravated

Comments
sotto_voce From: sotto_voce Date: September 20th, 2012 01:33 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry sweetie :(

They are all dicks.
lafemmedesfemme From: lafemmedesfemme Date: September 20th, 2012 04:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
oooh-- i definitely want to see his response!
sunday_silence From: sunday_silence Date: September 21st, 2012 11:08 am (UTC) (Link)
HOAs are miserable things, in my experience. All too often the sort of person who manages to politic his or her way to the president (or even board) of the HOA is about the last person you want running anything -- a petty tyrant, often with entirely too much time on zir hands, who wants to micromanage everyone's life.
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